


2003

by SamWeasley708



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Non-Chronological, Still sad though, Translation, but who cares, english isn't my first language so please be understanding, is my anxiety about posting here starting to show?, of my own work, ok anyway enough rambling, which was in French so if you speak french I really recommend you go read the original, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 14:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30023229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamWeasley708/pseuds/SamWeasley708
Summary: Because when life took you almost everything you had… You’ve got to try building back with what is left, right?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 4





	2003

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! As I said (very gracefully might I had) (yeah, I clearly do not know how to use them yet) in the tags, this is my very first time posting on AO3! It's also my first fic in English. It's a translation of something I wrote a few years ago, so it isn't (by far...) my best work, but I'm still proud enough of it to try and post it here. I hope you'll like it, or at least not hate it haha. I'm very anxious about this (as you might start to realise...), but I'm also very exited! I can't wait to see where this writing-in-english journey will take me :)  
> (but, as was also said in the tags, if you speak french, you might wanna go read the original version of this. My english is still a little messy.)

1991

-Nervous? 

Draco was staring at her very seriously. Pansy smiled. 

-What about you? 

-Of course not. A Malfoy is NOT nervous. Especially not about something like that. 

-Oh, I see. 

There was a short pause. Then, Draco asked: 

-Do you think you’ll be in Slytherin? 

Pansy rolled her eyes. 

-Of course. A Parkinson does NOT go in any house but Slytherin. 

-Oh, I see. 

Once again, they fell silent. Pansy gave Draco a sidelong look, biting her lip. 

-You’re shitting yourself, aren’t you? 

-And YOU think you’ll end up in Gryffindor. Or worse: Hufflepuff. 

Pansy slid on her back, staring at the sky. A few seconds later, Draco did the same. 

-Not really, she finally answered. I KNOW I’ll be a Slytherin. 

-Yeah. You’re way too manipulative to go anywhere else. 

-You too. 

They kept looking at the sky for a couple of minutes. Then, Draco whispered, so low Pansy almost didn’t hear him: 

-Ravenclaw, at least, wouldn’t be so bad… 

Pansy rolled on her stomach, and leaned her chin on her hand, watching her best friend, who was doing everything he could to escape her staring gaze. So much, in fact, that she had to take his face in her left hand to force him to look at her. 

-You’ll be in Slytherin, she assured. And even if it wasn’t the case, it wouldn’t be that bad. Your parents would be mad for a few weeks, top, and it would end. You know that. 

-You clearly don’t know my dad… 

-Your dad’s crazy about you. He could never stay mad at you. 

-That is definitely not true. 

Pansy sighed. Worst thing was he was right. 

-Well, I hope you know that I will ALWAYS love you. 

At that, Draco grunted, rolled on his side and jumped on his feet, exclaiming: 

-Ew, stop that!

Pansy snickered, and chuckled at his retreating back: 

-You’ve got nothing to worry about, love! You’re DEFINITELY a Slytherin through and through!

He looked at her from beside his shoulder. 

-You better be in Slytherin too. We CANNOT be in different houses. 

1998

-Hey Scarhead! 

Harry turned around, and a smile appeared on his lips. Said smile disappeared less than one second after appearing, his face left almost neutral. Except the eyes. 

-Hey, Ferret!

-You looking for someone to save?

-What about you, someone on whom to jump? Like the ferret you are?

-You know your eyes have the exact same color as Longbottom’s toad, right? 

-And you realise you’re so pale we’d think you could melt under the sun?

-Is it normal if your knees look as bony as the ones of an malnutritioned child? 

-How long ago was your last manucure? One hour? It’s beginning to be quite a long time for you, maybe you should think about going back…

-I saw you devour something like a whole treacle tart today. Do you always eat like a pig, or is that a special for Thursdays? 

-How many bottles of gel did you use for your hair this morning? Seems like a hurricane couldn’t make it move. 

Draco smiled, almost mocking, but also frankly amused. 

-You’re getting a bit rusty, Potter. That one was more compliment than insult. 

-For you, maybe. Not everyone wants to have hair that looks like it’s made of clay.

-And not everyone dreams of finding a bird in their hair because it mistook it for its nest.

Harry chuckled. This one was quite funny, in all honesty. 

They kept at it for several minutes. Until Hermione, seeming quite cross with him, rushed into Harry and dragged him away from Malfoy against his will.

-Merlin, Harry. You really should stop with that childishness!

-Why? It’s funny!

-Well, don’t you think you two would have something better to do together?

Harry felt his cheeks burn, but he retorted promptly: 

-I have no idea what you’re talking about. Insulting each other is what we’ve always done. I don’t see why that would suddenly change. 

Hermione only rolled her eyes.

1987

When Pansy and her parents arrived at Malfoy Manor, the Greengrasses were there. At first, Pansy was delighted. She didn’t know Daphné and Astoria really well, but they were very nice. Plus (and most importantly), they were girls, pretty much her age. That was a really rare occurrence in Pansy’s life. 

But her state of happiness altered pretty fast. Right now, in its place stood a burning anger. 

Daphné Greengrass wanted to be Draco’s wife! 

-We’ll pretend I was his wife, she insisted sternly. It’s only logical. Astoria’s way too young. Pansy, too. 

-That’s not true! protested Pansy. I’m the same age you are!

-No, I am two weeks older. 

-Not true!  
-Yes, it’s true!

-I’ve got to be Draco’s wife!

Honestly, Pansy didn’t really know why that mattered so much. She never played husband and wife with Draco. But Daphné wanted to be his wife. That was just plain silly. Admittedly, Pansy did not have any real desire to be married to Draco. And Draco didn’t want a wife anyway. But if he did have one, it had to be her! Period. 

-What are you talking about? asked Draco, who’d been to the toilet until then, unaware of his marital future being decided behind his back. 

-Daphné wants to be your wife! I am your wife! 

Draco giggled. Then, very seriously, he asked Pansy: 

-You wanna be my wife? 

-Obviously! 

-Then you are. Obviously. 

Hearing these words, Daphné screamed indignantly and ran out of the room, crying loudly. Astoria followed her silently. 

Draco turned to Pansy, smiling widely. 

-Do you mind if we get a divorce, my wife? 

-Of course not, my husband. 

1998

-Potter? 

Harry jumped. He had thought he’d be alone in this hallway. Actually, he came here especially to be alone. He was always surrounded by people, these last few days. Even Ron and Hermione’s presences were hard to bear. He desperately needed some alone time. Needed to run away from all those grateful looks, when he himself felt so guilty. Because, in the middle of all those faces looking up at him with so much respect, love, devotion, admiration or friendship, there were holes. Holes that should have been filled with other faces, other looks, other smiles. The ones of all those innocents who were dead, because of him. 

So, he really needed to be alone. Which was why he’d come here. Apparently, that did not work. 

He turned around. And jumped again, really high, when he saw the face of the person who had talked to him. 

-Malfoy? 

He seemed startled too, and avoided his eyes, his cheeks crimson red. But he visibly forced himself to talk. 

-I came here to tell you something. 

Harry really did not want to hear it. The last time he had talked to Draco was in the Room of Requirement. When he saved his life, just after he had tried to kill him. 

So, he really did not want to listen to him. But something forced him to. Something in his eyes, so afraid and lost. 

-I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. And thank you, too. For everything. 

Harry said nothing. Draco did not let him any time to do so, anyway. He was running away the second he finished talking. 

Maybe it was better off this way. 

1994

-Fucking Potter. With his fucking scar, and his fucking I-don’t-care attitude, and his fucking certitude he’s better than everyone else, and his fucking natural talent at absolutely everything, even battle fucking dragons, fuck! And his fucking Gryffindor bravery, and his fucking smile and his fucking hate, and his fucking insults and his fucking friends and his fucking eyes so fucking green and… 

-Drake? 

-And his fucking hero-complex, and his fucking laugh, and his fucking hair looking like a bird nest, and his fucking mouth and… 

-Draco!

-What? 

Frankly annoyed at the intervention, Draco turned to Pansy, who was laying on his bed, hand supporting her head. 

-Draco… 

Pansy suddenly sat down. Draco frowned. That was not a normal Pansy attitude, maybe something serious was going on. Suddenly scared for his best friend, he sat beside her on the bed, forgetting Potter for an instant. Well, almost. 

-Don’t you think you may be… Well, um… In love? With Potter?

Draco got back up as fast as he had sat down, suddenly panicked. 

-In love? With Potter? You’re crazy! He’s my worst enemy! I’ve hated him since I met him! That’s completely crazy!

Draco had begun hyperventilating, pacing the room at a frightening speed. Since he was breathing and moving faster and faster every second, Pansy got up too and walked to him, taking his arm in her hand and forcing him to look at her. 

-Hey. Everything’s all right. It’s okay. I got it. You hate Potter, he’s your worst enemy, and that’s it. 

-Yes… I hate him… You’re saying absurdities… 

Draco’s breathing was still really loud and fast, and he had a crazed look in his eyes. Pansy softly pushed his head against her shoulder. He was shaking like a leaf. 

-Hey… It’s alright. You’re alright. 

-I hate him. 

-I know. Shh…

1999

Harry accelerated on his broom, thinking he’d seen the small golden ball he was looking for. On the other side of the field, Draco did the same. 

Shit. Harry usually always won. In their small improvised matches one on one like this one as well as in the real ones. But this time, Draco was way closer to the Snitch than he was. Even with all the strength of his Firebolt and all of his flying talent, he wasn’t sure he could beat him. 

He leaned on his broom, giving everything he had. He even tried to reach in front of him, stretching at his maximum, even though he was still meters away from the Snitch. 

But no. It was useless. Not even two meters in front of him, Draco was smiling at him, triumphant. The Golden Snitch in his right hand. 

-So, Potter? Too slow to catch the Snitch? 

It was his smile, his teeths so white. His eyes, shining way too much. His hair, golden and messy from the wind. His cheeks, as red as Harry’s robe. And most of all it was his tongue, so pink, terribly too pink, licking his lip. Like it was calling him. 

Harry did not know what he was doing. But in less than one second, he was on Draco. Kissing him like his life depended on it. 

1996

When Pansy finally found Draco, he was sitting on the ground, in a corner of the second floor’s girls bathroom, his shirt completely soaked through and his hair horribly messy. His face was shining with tears and he was sobbing so intensely his whole body was shaking, but he was doing so in perfect silence. 

She had found him because she wanted to yell at him. Tell him she was done always running after him. Done with him never talking to her. Done with him avoiding her, making her understand subtly that she just could not get it. Done with him being a total shit to her, to keep her away. 

She’d wanted to force him to stop. Force him to tell her what was wrong, so together, maybe, they could find a solution. 

No. Not maybe. Together, they WOULD find a solution. It’s what they always did. 

But now, she wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Seeing the proud Draco Malfoy crying like that, in the middle of a public place, where anyone could see him… 

Suddenly, Pansy was terrified. More so than she had ever been. 

But she didn’t show it. She did as she always did: she sat beside him, put an arm around his neck, hugged him almost until he couldn’t breathe. Started playing softly with his hair, muttering nice things in his ear. 

Next step, normally, would be to wait until he stopped sobbing. But tonight, this moment did not seem to be coming. 

He cried and cried without stopping, hooked to her arms as if they were a buoy. At least, he did not push her away, like it had become his habit these days…

They stayed like that so long Pansy could not possibly tell how much time had passed. Then, abruptly, Draco sat up straight, tore off a whole arm of his shirt, and showed her his upper arm. 

When Pansy saw the dark Mark on her best friend’s arm, she suddenly understood how right she was to be terrified. 

2001

-Sirs. 

The waiter took a step back, letting them pass by. Harry was really excited. 

For their two-years anniversary, he was taking Draco to a muggle restaurant. If he had done such a thing in the beginning of their relationship, Draco would have found it scandalous. But nowadays, things were different. Under Harry’s influence, he had learned to know and love the muggle world. 

He was literally passionate about television, and a night out to the movies was, for him, the summum of happiness. He was a big fan of burgers, and was in love with muggle music. The only thing he really couldn’t get were muggle jeans. In his mind, they were horrible. 

So, obviously, Harry found great pleasure in wearing them as often as possible, to force him to admit (almost under torture, but still) that they did give him a really sexy ass. 

Well… Not tonight. Tonight, they were wearing fancy clothes. The restaurant Harry had chosen was one of the most expensive in Great Britain. Sometimes, it had to have some utility to be rich, didn’t it? 

The food was delicious, even though Draco spent the whole time eating it complaining about it not deserving the price they paid for it. He was like that, Draco. Even when drunk on happiness, he couldn’t stop himself from complaining at least a little. 

-That’s what makes my charm! he persisted, keeping the door open for Harry in their way out. 

-Yeah, of course… 

-I’m telling you!

-Pff. 

-Admit it, Potter, you could not live without me!

-I don’t see the connection. 

-It’s that I am indispensable. Therefore, charming. 

-Which doesn’t mean it’s the fact that you can’t stop complaining that makes you charming. 

-Well, it can’t be because of my pretty eyes, now, can it?

-A little. 

-Awww. SO cute. 

-You’re annoying. 

-That’s part of my charm too. 

-No it’s not. 

They kept arguing for several minutes, until one of them, no one knew who, made the other shut up with a kiss. 

-I love you. 

-Me too. 

Harry smiled. He was lucky Draco had not used his famous “Of course you love me, I’m so lovable”. 

-Well, on the other hand, of course you love me. I’m so lovable. 

1995

When Pansy heard the door of the dormitory opening, she rolled in a small ball under the covers. She wanted to disappear.

The curtains opened, and Pansy made herself even smaller. 

-Pans? 

She wanted him to go away… 

-Pans… If you wanted to stay hidden, you maybe should have chosen another location. Like… Not my bed. 

She sighed. Well, she guessed he had a point there. 

But she had not expected to cry! And she didn’t want him seeing her face covered in tears… 

-Pans? Show yourself, please. Or I may have to sit on you. 

She sighed again. 

-You were convincing. 

He chuckled. And then, he noticed her eyes. 

-You’re crying? 

-No. 

She looked away, but, with a hand under her chin, he forced her to look right in his eyes. 

-I’m pathetic, she moaned. 

-A little. 

She tried to glare, but suddenly, she was sobbing again. 

-Oh, babe… 

Abruptly, he was by her side on the bed, and then, under the covers with her. He pulled her to him, and she hid her face in his chest, not caring at all about ruining his shirt with her tears. He started patting her hair softly, kissing the top of her head regularly. 

-He so does not deserve you. 

-Cause you find that to be a consolation? 

-No. But I’ve got nothing else to say. 

-Just shut up and hug me tight. Don’t let go of me. 

He nodded. Then, he whispered something, so low he probably was talking to himself. But she heard him anyway. 

-Never. 

1999

They were sitting side by side in the library, revising lessons. 

Well, it would have been easier to concentrate if Draco had stopped randomly touching his knee under the table. 

Not that Harry was complaining. 

Since the kiss in the Quidditch field, they had spent every awake moment together. Well, except when Harry was with Ron and Hermione, or when Draco was with his Slytherin friends. 

Which, alright. Happened quite often. Especially since none of their friends knew about… well… this. Even though Hermione was starting to feel something was up. 

Or. Well. Maybe she was not the only one sensing something. If you accorded any attention to the snickering coming from the table of third year girls next to theirs, she clearly was not. 

-What’s going on over there with all this gossip, for fuck’s sake? 

Harry smiled. Patience had never been a great virtue of Draco. 

-Nothing, cackled three of the girls, blushing. The fourth one, though, seemed braver than the others. 

-We have… a question. 

-Well, keep it! Draco barked. 

-Are you two dating? 

Harry jumped, and turned towards Draco. He was almost as red as the three girls earlier. But, after one tiny look at Harry, he answered, a tone of defiance in his voice: 

-Yes. We are together. 

Harry jumped again, but an immense smile stretched out on his lips. It had been a very long time since the last time he felt so happy. 

1984

-Draco, I present to you Pansy Parkinson. 

Draco wrinkled his nose. 

-Do you find her pretty? asked Narcissa. 

Draco looked at the pale and skinny child standing in front of him. With an expression of pure disgust, he snarled: 

-No. 

Lucius vociferated: 

-Ah, children! 

Then he added in a menacing tone: 

-You know, Draco, Pansy might be your future wife. 

Draco only turned away. Ew! He did not want this kid as his wife! 

-Well, said the woman standing behind Pansy. What if we went inside to drink tea and let the children become friends? 

That only made Draco turn away even more. He did not want to be her friend either! 

As soon as their parents were gone, he snapped at her: 

-I do NOT want to marry you! 

-Well neither do I! retorted Pansy indignantly. You look like a runt!

-And you STINK! 

At that, Pansy sticked her tongue. To which Draco answered by sticking his tongue too, and squinting. After which she sticked her tongue, squinted and put two fingers in her nose. 

Shortly after that, it became a contest of who could do the worst grimace. And, less than a few minutes later, they were both roaring with laughter and suddenly really good friends. Maybe even best friends. 

Friendship is a simple thing when you are 4 years old. 

2003

Harry woke up at the feeling of lips kissing his eyelids. He smiled in his half-sleep state. 

With Draco, there were lots of different kinds of mornings. Hot mornings, where they had sex until losing reason. Grumpy mornings, where Draco almost didn’t talk to him at all and where they almost always ended up arguing over stupidities. And cuddly mornings. Apparently, this was one of them. 

-Morning, my love… 

-Morning, honey. 

Draco huddled against him under the cover, his head on his shoulder. He kissed him on the neck. 

-We have to get up… 

Harry sighed. 

-A little longer… 

-Okay. 

Cuddly mornings were definitely the best. 

Draco rubbed his head in his neck like a cat. Harry grinned and united their fingers under the blanket. He felt so good. 

Sometimes, he wanted these moments to last forever. 

But no, of course not. He had to get up. Shower. Make some coffee. Eat breakfast. 

The advantage of cuddly mornings was that he did all that with Draco hooked to his waist, kissing his neck, his temple or his shoulder. 

And then, obviously, they had to get out of the house, and go to work. 

-I love you, Draco whispered in his ear just before getting in the bus. 

Yeah… Harry loved cuddly mornings. 

2003

Skin. Everywhere. 

An ankle, first. Delicate and soft. 

And then, a calf. Long and muscular. 

And then a thigh, warm and strong. 

An ass, curved and white. 

A stomach, flat and delicious. 

And boobs. Round and firm. 

At this point, Harry closed his eyes. 

And when Pansy came under his mouth, he ignored his burning eyes, and the feeling, way too intense, of vertigo from within. 

1999

-Draco!

Pansy jumped in her best friend’s arms, a big smile on her mouth. He blushed, smiled, and half turned away, pretending to avoid her hug. 

-I am SO HAPPY! Merlin! Draco, this is the coolest, most fantastic…

-Pans… 

-When were you gonna tell me, by Merlin? 

-Tell you what?

Pansy scoffed. 

-None of that with me, Draco Malfoy. I met you when you were barely out of diapers. You can’t hide ANYTHING from me!

-How did you know, anyway? We kissed like less than 30 minutes ago!  
-Your face, Draco, your face! Your smile! Your eyes shining brighter than ever in the last few years!

-You’re lying! You saw us in the field didn’t you? 

-No, I swear. I really guessed from your face. But wait, what? The field? Like, the Quidditch field full of mud? 

-Um… Let’s just say mud was not a problem. 

-Ew. 

-No, what I mean is there was no mud. 

-Huh? 

It took her a few seconds. And then, suddenly, her eyes brightened. 

-Oh MERLIN! You mean you kissed in the air? Flying? 

-Uh… Yes?

-THAT IS SO FUCKING SEXY!

-Pansy, you’re talking about me, I remind you. 

She chuckled, and suddenly made a frankly disgusted expression. 

-Oh, ew, you’re right. YOU. Disgusting. 

Draco rolled his eyes. 

-Well, GO ON! Tell me everything. 

-I don’t wanna, he grunted. 

Pansy rolled her eyes hard. 

-Liar. 

Draco sighed, but, less than two seconds later, he was telling her everything, eyes bright and surexcited. 

2000

Harry woke up in a start, and it took him less than one second to understand what had gotten him out of his sleep. Beside him, Draco was clinging to the blanket, kicking all around him, rolling over in his sleep, his body covered in sweat. He was screaming and sobbing so loud his voice was getting hoarse. 

Harry turned towards him quickly and grabbed his arm, shaking him strongly to get him out of his sleep. Once he managed to wake him up, Draco opened his eyes, and Harry felt a pang in his chest. Draco’s eyes were terribly lost, puffy, red and terrified. Even though he was awake, he was still clinging to the sheets, his body shaking even more intensely than before. Actually, even his sobs had not calmed down. Everything had just became horribly silent.

-Shh, shh, I’m here. I’m here. It was only a dream… Shh. 

Harry took Draco’s body in his arms, hugging him as tight as humanly possible. Draco gripped his shoulders and clung to him as strongly as he had clung to the sheets mere seconds ago. But that did not seem to calm him down at all. 

Harry kept hugging him for a very long time, whispering tender words in his hair. After a while, Draco finally seemed to calm down a bit, but he was still softly crying. 

And then, he abruptly began talking. 

-I was… At the Manor… With Voldemort… I was a Death Eater, I was torturing people… He forced me to. There was you, and Pans, and my mom… He made me torture you… You were screaming, and screaming, but I couldn’t stop… I was under Impero… And then, I was not torturing you anymore, but countless of innocent people, who did not have faces. He was menacing me, saying he would kill you, and my dad too, if I was not obedient… I killed Dumbledore… And…

Harry couldn’t take it anymore. He hugged Draco as tight as he could, tighter than ever. 

-Shh, shh… You’re okay. He’s dead, he’ll never come back. He won’t force you to do anything ever again… It was only a nightmare. 

Draco pushed him away, watching him, even though he avoided his eyes. 

-You know, it wasn’t actually a dream. More like memories. I did horrible things, Harry. Tortured people. Almost killed some of them. 

-It was not your fault, Draco. He was menacing you, menacing your loved ones. You could not do anything but obey him. You hated every second of it… You’re not like that, Not like them. You’re a good person, okay? In your shoes, no one could have done anything different.

-Yes. You could. 

-No, Dray. If he menaced the people I loved most in the entire world, I would have done the exact same thing you did. You did not have a choice. 

-No. That isn’t true and you know it. Because that is the fundamental difference between you and me, isn’t it? You are a Gryffindor, and I’m a Slytherin. You’re brave, and I save my skin. You’re a good person, and I am a Death Eater. 

-Listen to me, Draco. You’re not a bad person, alright? You are good. A very good person, who bad things have happened to. And… I love you. 

Draco jumped. 

-It’s true? 

-Yes, it’s true. And nothing, no one, is ever going to change that. 

Draco stopped talking. He was suddenly very calm. Harry hugged him again, and felt his breath, slow and steady, against his chest. He even thought for one second that he had fallen asleep. 

-I love you too. 

1993

Pansy and Draco were sitting together on his bed, her reading a magazine, him his potions book. Abruptly, she closed the magazine and turned towards him. 

-Draco? 

-Huh?

He did not even look at her, still staring at his book. Fuck, but how annoying could this guy be!

-Draco, she insisted. 

-What?

-Have you ever kissed someone?

He jumped. The question was visibly surprising to him. He even closed his potions book. 

-No… Why?

-Just curious. 

-Have you? 

-No. 

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Then, Pansy asked: 

-D’you want to try? I mean, this way, when we kiss someone for real, we’ll know how to. 

Draco blinked. Twice. That was certainly a strange idea. But after all, why not? 

-Yeah, okay. 

And, without further ado, he grabbed her behind the neck and kissed her. When they pushed away, a few seconds later, they both looked pensive. 

-Ew, they both concluded at the same time, after a few instants. Just before they both roared with laughter, perfectly in sync. 

-I guess it’s less awkward when the person you kiss is not the equivalent of a sibling, commented Draco. 

Pansy sniggered and nodded, but in reality, she was quite touched. 

She’d thought she was the only one considering Draco like a brother. 

2003

When Harry found Pansy Parkinson standing at his door, he did not even feel surprised. He only sighed, opened the door wider and let her in. 

-I…

-Yeah. 

She did not try to speak again. That was good with him. 

He did not really want to talk. Or rather, he really did not want to talk. 

But he still had some notions of politeness. 

-Tea?

-No. 

But then their eyes met, and she changed her mind. 

-I mean, yes. 

He nodded and went into the kitchen to make tea. He did not feel like drinking any. He just needed to do something with his hands. 

-Cute decorating style. 

He was certain she did not actually want to talk. Or be ironic. She just needed to do something with her mind. 

He could understand that. 

-I have not lived here in years. Well, except for the last few days. And I have not really felt like decorating. 

His tone had been particularly harsh. He almost felt bad, so he turned towards her to say sorry. But when he saw her eyes full of water, he opted for only passing her her tea, avoiding her searching look. 

He wanted her to go away. 

-I’m so sorry…

Her voice was hoarse and low. He wanted to ask her what she was sorry for. But he feared his voice may break in the middle of the sentence, or not even make it out of his chest. 

He circled her, trying to bypass her and go into the living room. But when he got to her side, she sobbed. One little sob, and all his hard-won composure fell apart. 

He started crying his eyes out. 

She turned to face him, pulled on his upper arm and hugged him. Strong. 

After long seconds, she was crying too. He felt her stomach shaking against his, following the rhythm of her sobs. They fell on the ground, and stayed like that for hours, crushed on the kitchen floor besides a tea cup slowly getting cold, crying every tear they had in each other’s arms. 

Crying with someone was better than alone. 

1998

It happened to them more and more often. Moments where they did not even use their false hatred to talk: where they would just do it, just like that. Because they wanted to. 

Right now, their discussion was not light and fun like it usually was, though. It was real. Intense. Profound. 

Harry had the feeling something important would come out of it. 

And to be honest, he had a pretty clear idea of what. There was a question that he wanted to ask. It seemed like the right time, but he did not really have the guts. What if Draco took it badly? If their conversation stopped because of it? 

Well, fuck it. 

-Draco? 

-Yes? 

-Why did you not tell them it was me? That day in the Manor? 

Draco avoided his eyes, biting on his lower lip. 

-I was not sure it was you. 

Harry grinned. For a Slytherin, he was a pretty bad liar. 

-You really looked like you recognised me, though. 

-Your face was all puffy and weird, Potter. You could have been anyone, really. 

-But there was my scar. And… My eyes. You know, my toad eyes? 

-Your scar was all stretched, it was very strange. And I do not know your eyes by heart, Potter. 

Harry turned to face him perfectly, trying to catch his eyes. He was really avoiding his look.

-Draco? 

Calling his name had been a good idea. He raised his eyes, and suddenly, he seemed to forget completely his plan to avoid his look. 

-You knew it was me. 

Draco sighed, imperceptibly, almost like he was giving in. 

-Yes. 

-And you did not denounce me. Risking you own life for it. 

-No one could prove I recognized you. Plus, I wanted the war to end, too. I knew you could stop it. 

-There was no other reason? 

-No. 

-Okay. 

Harry gave up. For now. 

Because he had noticed Draco was avoiding his eyes again. 

1998

The war had ended. 

The Light won. 

But Pansy had no recollection of any time worse than this in her life. 

Summer was ending. Pansy had always liked summer. The warmth, the sun, the long days, nature that was at its more beautiful, the holidays…

But this year, summer was cruel. Life was cruel. 

She did not know what was worse. Both of her parents in prison. Her loneliness. Her guilt. Her shame. Her sadness. Her pain. Her anger. Her fear. 

Because she was so, so full of fear. She’d been innocented because it was proven she’d been forced to be on the bad side of the war, of course, but… It did not erase the fact she had been.

No one stayed. Everyone that had been by her side was either dead, in prison, or hated her. 

Except Draco. Draco, who had always been there, who would always be. Draco, who was even more broken than her. 

Actually, that was probably the worst thing. Watching him languish, cry for hours on end, or stay apathetic, not doing anything, for eternities… 

She hated it. She hated her helplessness. She would have wanted to do something for him… But she couldn’t do anything. Anything but cuddle with him, whisper in his ear that things would be alright, that they would be alright. Hug him with all her strength, all her love, when, more than once every night, he woke up covered in sweat and tears from the terrible nightmares he was always having. 

So, that’s what she did. That, and wait for it to pass. To get better. Because it would surely get better one day, right? 

2003

They’d agreed on never doing it again. They’d even sweared it. Yet, here they were, body against body on this bed, half naked, kissing so hard it hurt, so hard they could forget. Almost. 

And then he got her shirt off. She threw his t-shirt away. The cold air made him shiver, and he almost told her they had to stop. But their mouths met again, and he just couldn’t. 

And then she slid down, on his neck, his chest. His stomach, his abdomen. His sex. 

But when he closed his eyes, it wasn’t her mouth he saw between his legs. Not her hair he imagined diving his hand into. 

-I’m sorry! 

He did not know who he was addressing. Her? Him? Anyway, it was useless. 

-I’m sorry… 

She slid up to face him again. It took her to wash them away for him to realise his face was covered in tears. And her to look at him for him to see hers was, too. 

She positioned herself right over him. In one second, he knew it, she would take him inside of her. But, just before, she was looking at him, asking for permission. They had never gone so far before. He saw it as some kind of barrier not to cross. He should have said no. 

Instead of what he nodded. 

It was too late anyway. 

2001

Harry could not keep himself from laughing. The situation was frankly absurd. Why on Earth did Draco insist so much on him keeping this stupid piece of fabric over his eyes anyway?

Suddenly, his boyfriend stopped, pulling on his arm so he would do the same. Then, he made him turn around and put his hand on his waist, kissing him with passion and intensity. 

Unable to see anything, Harry enjoyed everything else. Draco’s scent, deliciously spicy. The softness of his lips. His minty taste. His hands, both firm and delicate, sliding slowly from his back to his ass. 

-We’re there, whispered Draco. 

He got the blindfold out. They were alone in a dark alley. Harry frowned, but said nothing. He knew Draco well enough to know that was not the surprise. 

And, indeed, he pointed his wand at the floor, and, suddenly, Harry felt his feet rise from the ground. He was startled, really not expecting that. He had no idea what spell Draco was using to make them rise like that. 

But, less than a few seconds later, they were both standing on the roof of a building, roughly five floors tall. They had a beautiful view on the city below, the buildings as far as eyes could see, the sunset. 

-Holy shit, Draco! Wow… 

Draco smiled, clearly proud of himself. He let Harry look at the view for a few minutes, then he took his hand and pulled him aside. In one step, the roof, that until then had seemed empty, suddenly was covered in some kind of dome, with a small wooden table in the middle, on which were a bottle of red wine, two glasses, and a copious meal. A few meters farther, a beautiful bed completed the scene. 

-And there’s a disillusionment charm, so no one will be able to find us, announced Draco, his eyes bright. 

-Wow, murmured Harry. I love you. 

-Well of course you do, I am so lovable. 

After that, he kissed him hard. 

The meal had to wait. 

2003

-Now Harry, his boyfriend, will read us a small something. 

Harry jumped. He knew he had to get up. He knew it. But he was paralysed, his legs refusing to obey his brain and get him to the stage. Like his eyes had been refusing to cry for hours now. 

In the end, it was a solid nudge from Pansy Parkinson that forced him to get up, and walk to the front, shaking so much he was not sure he could stay upright. He would have wanted more than anything to stay sitting on this too hard bench, beside this girl he barely knew but had been barely knowing for his whole life, feeling her tremble like a leaf and hold back her tears. 

But no. He walked to the stage, turned around, faced everyone. All those faces… He knew that he was supposed to know them all, but today, they all seemed like strangers to him. Today, the only familiar face was frozen in its old mask of Slytherin mockery. For eternity. 

He was frozen once again, and now he was shaking, too. He did not know what to do, he had completely forgotten what he was doing there, he could only see all those black clothes, these mourning expressions that seemed so fucking fake, all those bouquets of red roses, and this grave… 

-Mister Potter, whispered the master of ceremony, just behind him. Your text. 

Oh, yeah. His text. 

He lifted it, his hand trembling, unfolded it slowly and looked at it. But it was impossible. He did not know how to read. The words in front of him made absolutely no sense. Abruptly, the tears that had not wanted to appear since an eternity flowed. Harry tried, truly, he tried to stay standing there in front of all those people reading them this fucking text. But it was just not possible. So, shaking harder than ever, he crossed the crowd running, blind from all his tears, and stopped only when a hand, solid and cold, grabbed his arm and pulled him hard against a body trembling as hard as his. 

Standing in the middle of that church, surrounded by these thousands of strangers, Pansy Parkinson and Harry Potter cried in silence, hugging each other tight. 

1998

-We should run away. Just you and me. Go far, far away. Where no one would find us. 

Draco looked away. Pansy could not be sure, but it probably was to hide his tears from her. 

-No, Pans… You know we can’t. 

Pansy sighed, and fell back on the armchair they were sharing, in the Room of Requirements. 

She would have given anything for it to be possible. Given anything for them to run away together, to the other side of the globe, to be forgotten, to wait for the war to end. That way, she could have stopped worrying at every moment. She could make sure they both stayed alive. Safe. 

But no. Of course, that was not possible. 

-I’d like that. I swear. But you know it’s not a possibility. I have to protect my family. 

-I know… 

-Come here. 

He opened his arms and she cuddled against him, her eyes close against his warm shoulder. As if that could protect them from the world. 

-I love you. 

2003

Harry woke up in a start. His head had just bumped heavily on the ground. To his side, Pansy Parkinson was passing a hand on her face, spreading the mess of her make up even more than it already was. 

-Potter?

Harry sighed. Blurry memories from the day before started coming back: Pansy, tea, tears. 

He could not say he felt okay. No… Far from it. But yet… Something had changed. He was hurting, of course. And had not gained any will to live. But despite everything, he felt more… Calm. More serene. 

Or something like that. 

-Parkinson? 

She sighed. Bit her lip. Passed, once again, her hand on her face. 

And then, suddenly, she looked at him, right in the eyes. And, in a voice so low Harry could almost think he imagined it, she murmured: 

-Thank you.

After that, she jumped to her feet, righted her dress in a quick move and went to the door. 

-Parkinson! called Harry, getting up with help from the furniture. 

-What? 

-Thank you too. 

She nodded, almost delicately, and ran away. 

1999

When he arrived at the end of the corridor, Harry was out of breath. Draco stuck his tongue out at him, laughing like crazy, but he was out of breath too. 

-You’re less full of yourself when you’re not on a broom, eh? 

Harry chuckled. Then, he put his hand around Draco’s waist and pulled him close. 

They were standing in front of one of the big windows of the corridor, looking at the park and the lake behind. Draco sighed. 

-I will miss this. 

Harry nodded. 

-Me too, he sighed. 

They stayed silent for a while. Then Draco turned around in Harry’s arms to face him. Harry believed for a second he was gonna kiss him, but, seeing the serious expression in his eyes, he understood that was not the case. 

-I will miss you. 

Harry jumped.

-Why?

Draco frowned and passed a hand in his hair. 

-Harry, he breathed. You know as well as I do what is going to happen. 

Harry tensed. A weird feeling was starting to get hold of his stomach. Something ice cold. 

-No, he retorted, as firmly as he could. 

-We’ll get out of here, stay together for a few weeks, or even less, and that will be it. You’ll be Harry Potter, the Saviour of the Wizarding World, a future Auror, rich and famous… And I’ll be Draco Malfoy, defeated Death Eater, who’s dad is slowly dying in Azkaban. It’s not gonna work, and you know it. 

-Fucking hell, Harry sweared.

He took a step back, looking Draco right in the eye. 

-How many times do I have to say it, for Fuck’s sake? I know what you lived through, I know what your dad did. I know you were both Death Eaters, and that the proof of that is still on your arm. I know I’ll never be able to understand even one percent of the horrors you had to endure. And I DON’T CARE. I don’t care, alright? I do not give a fuck about any of that. I’m with you because I want to, and that’s it. That’s it. NOTHING will change that. Are we clear? 

If the situation had been different, the face Draco made right then could have made Harry laugh. His mouth and eyes were wide open, and he seemed completely shocked. 

-Are we clear? repeated Harry.

-I… Yes. We are. 

-Good. 

Harry sighed. And then, softly, he smiled at Draco. The blonde hesitated one second before smiling back. His eyes were a bit wet, but Harry decided to ignore that. 

-Draco? 

-Yeah? 

-Do you want to come live with me? 

This time, it was downright tears in Draco’s eyes. But there was an immense smile too, stretching from one ear to the other. And he kissed Harry so hard it almost hurt. 

-Yes, I want to! 

Harry laughed and kissed him back. 

2003

Pansy entered the restaurant like a tornado. Draco, sitting at his table, sent her a reprobating loo, but the smile stretching on his lips made it less convincing. Pansy waved at him with enthusiasm, then she made her way through the small crowd waiting to order to join him at the table. He got up and they hugged as if they had not seen each other in an eternity. 

Which, to say the truth, was kind of the case. Her work made Pansy spend three quarters of her life in France and, between his love relationship and his own work, Draco was rarely free when Pansy was in England. 

But, well, it was not that big of a problem. They missed each other, of course, but their friendship was of the sort that could survive anything, even seeing each other only a few times every year. Every time they were together, it was as if they were still spending every minute of their free time together, like they used to in their teenage years. 

Plus, they were both terribly occupied, sure, but that would not be the case forever. In a few years, when their financial situations would be a little more stable, they would have a lot of time to enjoy each other’s company, right? 

-How are you? asked Draco, getting Pansy out of her thoughts. 

-Really good! A bit tired, but really good. What about you? 

Draco only smiled. One of his small corner-of-the-mouth smiles, that said so clearly “I’ve got something major to tell you but be certain I won’t until you beg me for it”. 

-Oh! Pansy exclaimed. You have something to tell me! 

Draco only chuckled. 

-Do I? he asked. 

He clearly did. 

-You’ll make me guess? 

-That’s not my style!

Pansy rolled her eyes, which made Draco giggle, and then she began trying to guess. She always pretended to be highly annoyed by this little game of his, but it actually made her laugh. And she was always very proud of the rapidity at which she figured it out. 

-You… will have a promotion?

-Nope. 

-You… inherited a fortune? 

-No, thank you! I never want to be rich again. 

-You’re pregnant?

Draco rolled his eyes. 

-Oh, I know! You’re getting married!

This time, his cheeks became crimson red, and he only smiled, lowering his head. 

-Oh, Merlin! Draco, that is fantastic!

-Well, I mean, it’s not sure yet… I mean, I still haven’t asked him. 

-Draco, love, it’s OBVIOUS he’ll say yes! He’s crazy about you! Oh, Draco, I’m so happy!

Pansy got up in a jump and circled the table to hug her best friend. 

-My baby boy is getting married! 

-Your baby boy… Don’t exaggerate. Plus, before marrying anyone, I’ve got to get engaged.

-Show me the ring? 

Draco pretended to be grumpy for another two seconds but he couldn’t keep it up long and his face illuminated. They spent long minutes admiring the ring, simple but beautiful. It would go so well around Harry’s finger… 

2003

The air was hot. The music vibrated through his body, his mind. Bodies were bumping into each other, mixing with each other. Harry was dancing against him, his head in his neck, his hand on his back. A little farther, Pansy was smiling at them, waving once in a while, drinking slowly, sip by sip, the strange, electric blue liquid that was in her glass. 

Draco was feeling a bit strange. He was both excessively happy and strangely sad. His head was spinning, but not in a bad way. He was clinging to Harry, holding him close, and was a little disoriented when his boyfriend took a step back, smiled at him and yelled over the music: 

-I’m gonna go get more alcohol! You go see Pansy? 

Draco nodded. Yes… Go see Pansy. That was a brilliant idea. 

So that’s what he did, walking through the crowd, a bit dizzy. When he got close to her, Pansy hugged him tight. 

-Draco! 

-Pansy!

They both roared with laughter at the same time, without really knowing why. When Harry came back, with two glasses of the same blue liquid, they were still laughing. 

-Hey! he said, giving Draco his glass. What’s so funny? 

-Nothing. 

-Everything. 

They had answered almost exactly at the same second. It made them laugh, and Harry soon joined them in their hilarity. 

In the middle of the laughter, Draco looked at them. Pansy. Harry. Harry. Pansy. 

They were the two most important people in his life. The two relationships that had made him grow up, evolve. The two relationships who had made him who he was today. He loved them so much. 

He was suddenly very serious. At the same time, on each side of him, Pansy and Harry both put a hand on his upper arms. Harry at his left, Pansy at his right. 

-Are you okay, Draco? 

He nodded. Of course he was okay. He was better than ever before. 

-I love you! 

Pansy smiled, and Harry kissed his temple. Draco took a sip of the alcohol. He was a bit shaky on his feet. But that was alright. The hands of Harry and Pansy, still firm on his arms, were keeping him up. 

-I love you, he repeated, less loudly this time. Pansy got closer to him, pointing to her ear to show she had not heard, and he repeated it a third time. 

-I love you! 

This time, it was Pansy who kissed his temple, and Harry who smiled. Then, he offered, his voice loud to cover the music: 

-Do you want to go outside? 

Pansy nodded, and Draco was suddenly dragged behind them, until they were all standing on the sidewalk in front of the pub. Outside, the air was fresh, and the silence comforting. 

-Cigarette? Pansy offered, getting a pack out of her jeans. 

Draco didn’t want one, because he did not smoke anymore, but Harry said yes. Pansy lit it for him, and, during a few minutes, they smoked in silence, their free hands still on Draco’s arms. 

-I don’t know what I would do without you. 

Draco had just broken the silence. Pansy looked at him from the corner of her eyes, taking a puff of her cigarette. 

-You’re really emotional tonight, aren’t you? 

-No but, it’s true! insisted Draco. I’m not saying that because I am drunk, although I am, but… You’re just both SO fucking important to me. There were so many times where I just could not have survived without you. Oh God, if something happened to you… I don’t know what I’d do… 

-We love you too, Draco. 

He suddenly wanted to cry. Actually, he realised his eyes were already full of tears. 

-Nothing bad can happen to you. Ever. If something happened to you… 

-Nothing will, cut Harry. Not to us, nor to you. Because, you’ve said it: we take care of you, and you of us. We protect each other. Alright? 

This reassured Draco a little. He smiled to Harry, then to Pansy, and added: 

-Yes, yes, we protect one another. We protect each other, us three. We’re there for each other. We’ll always be there for each other, right? 

Harry nodded. Pansy sighed, but when Draco stared at her with supplicating eyes, she did nod too. 

-You have to swear it, insisted Draco. Promise that, whatever happens, we’ll be there. I’ll be there for you. You’ll be there for me. And you’ll be there for each other. 

Harry bit his lip, seemingly embarrassed, and Pansy rolled her eyes. But, when Draco took both of their hands and silently asked them to take each other’s hands too, they did it. And, when Draco asked: 

-We promise? 

They both answered, even though with an enthusiasm less intense than his: 

-Yes, we promise.

2004

They were lying side by side on the bed, completely naked. It had been at least ten minutes already, since she asked it. He was staring at the ceiling, biting his lip. They both had tears in their eyes. Again. Still. But they were also holding hands, on the pillow, between their heads. And Harry almost felt the beginning of a smile wanting to creep on his lips, from time to time, in between the sobs and the tears. 

He turned to face her, slowly, his hand still in hers. Her eyes, black like the night, were gazing in his, and she caressed his cheek to push a tear away. 

He sighed, opened his mouth, and began, finally, to talk.

-Listen… I can’t tell you if I love you. I don’t know what that means anymore… The only thing I know is that when I’m with you, it becomes slightly less hard to go through the days. Slightly easier to tell myself there is a future in front of me. And I know it’s bad, in so many ways we can’t even count them. And I know I should feel ashamed. But I can’t. Because when life took you almost everything you had… You’ve got to try building back with what is left, right? 

She smiled, her face once again shining with tears. 

-Right.


End file.
